If the world were a village and in India it occasionally feels like one at rush hour, The Toyota Land Cruiser would be the Sarpanch. A towering, battle-scarred veteran who’s seen a few monsoons, wrestled with water, and still has the time to help someone dhakka start a broken down car. The Range Rover, on the other hand, would be the foreign-return prodigal son. The one who returns from London smelling of expensive perfume, wearing loafers made of something endangered, and telling everyone how he once dined next to someone famous. Both cost more than the average Mumbai apartment. Both represent the very best of their makers. Toyota’s unshakable reliability and Land Rover’s unrelenting pursuit of opulence. But these two approach the idea of a luxury off-roader like two different religions: one believes in hard work and reincarnation, the other in champagne and reincarnated cowhide
So which one should you buy?
The Range Rover is a chandelier. The Land Cruiser is a hammer. One lights up rooms, the other builds the room and sells it to you. In a perfect world, you’d have both. You’d use the Range Rover to attend the party, and the Land Cruiser to escape when it’s over. Frankly, while my heart says Land Cruiser, my head swiftly tells it to stop being daft and chooses the Range Rover. And since I can’t afford neither, I’d say you can’t lose with either. Now it’s your choice. red pill or blue pill, choose it well.
Fire and Fury vs Whisper and Whine
Under the bonnet, the Toyota packs a 3.3-litre twin-turbo V6 diesel with 304bhp and a ludicrous 700Nm of torque, enough to tow the Gateway of India into the Arabian Sea. It’s not fast in the ‘let’s drag race’ sense; it’s fast in the ‘we’re late for a coup’ sense. Every flex of your right foot is met with a deep, guttural growl that sounds like it’s been smoking beedis since Kapil Dev won us the World Cup in ‘83.The Range Rover, by contrast, runs a 3.0-litre mild-hybrid, petrol straight six. 349bhp, 550Nm, and refinement like warm butter sliding off a hot aloo paratha. It is smooth, effortless and more than a bit indulgent. But here’s the thing. The Land Cruiser’s diesel isn’t there to impress; it’s there to endure. It’s meant to survive bad fuel and worse roads. The Range Rover’s petrol, meanwhile, is as complex and possibly fragile as a modern relationship. Incredible when it works, expensive when it doesn’t.
On-Road Behaviour - Gucci Slides VS Timbs
Driving the Land Cruiser on an Indian highway is like commanding an aircraft carrier through a Goan AirBnB swimming pool.Every overtaking manoeuvre is a declaration of intent. It rolls, it heaves, it feels like it’s fighting gravity with brute strength but the payoff is immense. You feel INVINCIBLE. Autorickshaws part like the Red Sea, truckers salute with their indicators, and the police mostly assume you’re someone important. In fact, in the week or so where I drove around this big behemoth, I saw four other Land Cruisers and every single one had a police or armed security escort with some older ‘gentle’man sitting in the front seat. The Range Rover, meanwhile, is the most modern interpretation of luxury comfortable motoring. Adaptive air suspension, four wheel steering, torque vectoring and more. It does things a 2.5-tonne box shouldn’t. You glide over potholes like they’re an inconvenience meant for other people, and you corner with the smugness of someone who knows their car costs J2.5 crore. Even the Western Express Highway and that little stretch of road after the Atal Setu near all the dance bars felt ‘perfect’. But the Range Rover’s smoothness is also its biggest weakness.
It’s so perfect, so digital, that it distances you from the act of driving. The Land Cruiser, on the other hand, makes you work a little and that’s where the romance lies. Both though will have its set of fans and haters. I am a bit of both while my family - especially my daughter who gets catastrophically carsick is firmly camp Range Rover.
Here is probably a good time to talk about how they are off road. But frankly, no one will ever take them off road and no, the little kaccha rasta to your ‘zameen’ isn’t a test of off road capacity if your ‘aadmi’ can follow you up the same road in his Eeco.
Interior Decoration
The Land Cruiser on the inside, just like the outside, feels indestructible. The leather feels like it could replace kevlar in a bulletproof vest. The buttons come right off an Akula Class submarine (google these, they are damn cool), and the air conditioning is Cyrus Spec. Which means it will put your family jewels into hibernation mode. It’s not minimalist or chic, it’s functional. It offers one singular luxury, unparalleled peace of mind. You know that nothing here will ever break. The Range Rover, on the other hand, is a masterclass in modern luxury. Super soft-touch materials, vegan leather options (because some people will genuinely not buy a car with leather and nothing says opulence like moral superiority), a massive touchscreen, and enough sound insulation to drown out the honking peasants. Everything is curved, sculpted, and illuminated with the kind of precision you’d expect from a high end piece of electronic equipment or even a Swiss watch! . But luxury comes with fragility. And in India where dust is not the exception but the norm, the Range Rover will need a lot more attention. Not great if you have lots of land to inspect regularly, but then if you have a Range Rover, you have the wealth to hire a man whose only job is to ensure your car is spiffy clean. Space wise though, both are similar. Both get 5 seats because a 7 seater ultra expensive luxury SUV is uncool. If you have more people, take the other Range Rover / Land Cruiser. Uhh, of course! That said, the Range Rover is a clear clear winner when it comes to the rear seats. More space, more recline, more fancy bits for a child or adult to be excited about AND a lot more legroom too.
Presence. Or, the Art of Taking Up Space
Let’s start with what they do best, making every other car on the road feel like it’s apologising for existing. The Land Cruiser doesn’t arrive, it looms. It’s a rectangular monolith of chrome, grit and unfiltered purpose, like it was carved out of the western ghats by Maratha warriors with diesel running through their veins. When you see one in your rear-view mirror, you move aside out of sheer ancestral fear. It’s not aggressive because it does not need to be. It has a reputation that precedes it. The Range Rover, meanwhile, doesn’t loom. It does the opposite. It glides (literally). It doesn’t shout.. There’s something about its silhouette that says, “I’ve made it, but I’m not showy enough to buy a Bentley.” It’s the automotive equivalent of a five-bedroom duplex in a bylane in Bandra as compared to Band Stand. It is quiet on the outside, but can be scandalous *cough cough* on the inside. In India, the Land Cruiser is the car of choice for people who explore mountain passes, or the whole mountain range in some cases. The Range Rover is for those who visit them on long weekends before getting back to BKC on Monday morning rush hour.
Land Cruiser 300
Engine: 3.3 Litre V6 Turbo Diesel
Power: 304bhp @4000rpm
Torque: 700nm @1600 - 2600rpm
Transmission: 10N - Speed automatic transmission with manual shift mode
Price (India): ₹2,15,60,000 (ex-showroom)
Range Rover
Engine: 3.0 Litre inline 6 twin turbo Diesel
Power: 346bhp @4000rpm
Torque: 700nm @1500-2500rpm
Transmission: 8 speed automatic
Price (India): ₹2,31,00,000 (ex-showroom)
